As in other areas of life, my orientation to sex was learned from things like tv, movies, and parents. When people in the movies are upset with someone they might call them a “dick”, but when it gets really bad, they call them a “cunt” or a “cocksucker”. So as a child I assumed sex and sex organs must be the most dreadful, shameful things adults could think of.
Eventually I stopped watching so much TV and stumbled across people who talked about sex in more positive terms. Here is a passage from the BoT about sex, love and trust.
Commitment implies absolute trust…. In the tantric tradition commitment must precede serious effort and is itself an opening into potency. For the tantric lover, commitment means being true to one’s inner reality and sharing this truth with the beloved. . .
The couple should share their innermost feelings about each other, within the context of their sacred bond of mutual trust. Dispense with self-reproach and feelings of guilt and let yourselves experience the joyous release of sharing. Verbalizing your innermost feelings will create a mystic bond of trust. . .
Love-making is the perfect opportunity for establishing a lasting bond of commitment. During the love-act, the life-force enters the central subtle nerve and ascends to the region of the head. According to tantric teachings, whatever the mind visualizes at such an occasion will inevitably come about. A wish made at the heights of ecstacy is said to have a very good chance of success. . .
Commitment can take many forms but ideally it should transcend worldly values and selfish desires and be oriented to higher ideals. Commitment strengthens self-confidence and leads to increased awareness of spirituality in oneself and the other. True love implies an absolute commitment based on a couple’s desire for spiritual evolution together.1
Questions for consideration:
- Will your body-mind allow profound sex to happen, if you are in bed with someone you do not fundamentally trust or deeply love?
- Which would you prefer: casual sex with 10 people (who might simply be trying to escape from boredom), or profound sex with one person with whom you have a real love-relationship?
- Whether or not you are sexually active, when was the last time you felt penetrated by “Truth”, to the point that the illusion of being a separate person vanished? Do you trust Truth?